How to Date and Find Love During the Coronavirus Pandemic
The world as we know it has changed dramatically and incredibly fast over the past several weeks. As an international matchmaker I work with a very international clientele and have lots of contacts in different countries.
No matter who I speak to; the Coronavirus pandemic is affecting every one of us!
Some people have lost their income overnight. Some people are fearing for their positions and their jobs. Many people have had to cancel travel; either work trips, or vacations that they had been looking forward to for months.
People are concerned about loved ones. Many have aging parents and are worried about them. Many are trying to work from home while we no longer have the support system for the children in place. Working from home as a single parent with young kids, is really really challenging.
I have also heard from many people that when you are single, being confined to staying home alone gets extremely challenging, after even a few days.
In most countries, you can't freely move around anymore, almost everything is closed. In some countries there is actually a lockdown where you are not allowed to leave your house. For many, the current coronavirus pandemic situation is extremely challenging and difficult.
On top of that, we're inundated with, often well meant, coronavirus related news, updates, jokes, tips, rumours, and statistics through all the communication channels. Amidst all that, it can be very challenging to maintain a positive mental attitude.
In times of crisis and uncertainty, people realize even more the importance of, and the need for, a partner and love in their lives.
So, during this period, instead of giving up on dating and finding love, I encourage you to step up in your journey to find your love.
We need love. Period.
It is a basic human need.
The need for us humans to be in a close relationship is embedded in our genes.
Now, more than ever singles realize the importance of having love, and a supportive partner and are actually looking to find one!
Of course, I hear you think, well this virus is a real threat and it's scary and dangerous and in many countries completely forbidden to go out on dates.
At this time, almost everywhere, restaurants, bars, public places etc. are now closed to the public. In many countries you're not even supposed to leave your house, let alone, go out on a date and meet new people.
Indeed that is the current reality that we have to work with.
Instead of focusing on all the things we can’t do at the moment, let’s focus on what you can do to date and find love.
1. Stay Positive
The first thing that you can do, and actually must do, is try to consciously maintain positive energy. This means focusing as much as possible, under the circumstances, on creating and continuing to live a life that is happy and fulfilling.
This doesn't mean that you need to be ignoring what is happening in the world, but you may need to protect yourself a little bit from all of the negative news we are receiving through all the different channels. What you put in, you put out. So if you feed yourself with anxiety and fear, that is what you put out as well.
It also means that you actively need to invest in doing things for your happiness and wellbeing, every day. So create healthy and positive routines, and do little special things for yourself, even at home. Be creative and think about what you can do to make yourself happy.
2. Start Online Dating
NOW is a good time to start dating online or on an app!
Why is that?
Because in these unstable and challenging times, like you, other singles realize that love matters! Without love in your life, nothing makes sense.
Because all events, concerts, sport games etc. have been cancelled - gyms, restaurants, bars, classes, churches, etc. everything is closed and people actually have more time available to date online.
Many singles are really grounded at home and can no longer create opportunities to meet other people in real life.
The only option singles have in the coming months to connect with like-minded singles, is to connect via an online site or a dating app.
So, I encourage you to either continue dating online or on a dating app, or start!
As you may know, I offer group coaching & mentoring to help professional singles “Find Their Success Match”. I accompany women through a proven process to help them transition from where they are at, to where they want to be; in a happy, lasting relationship with the right partner.
My process is based on three main pillars; Being, Finding, and Choosing the Right Partner.
Part of the program includes creating opportunities to meet men via apps, and I help my clients with their profiles and photos. I have very strict guidelines for dating on apps, and teach my single clients step-by-step on how to do this effectively.
There are many aspects to successfully dating on an app, but here I will share with you some tips on how to go about a successful virtual date.
3. Virtual Date Tips
Once you connect with someone on an app or online, you chat or text for a while, and then, within a few days to a week, you have a good feel for someone, and then you propose a virtual first date.
As now you can no longer propose to go on a date in person, you can and you should propose to do a virtual first date, a virtual coffee or a virtual drink via Skype, Zoom, FaceTime or any other video call tool that is convenient for both of you.
I advise you to keep the first date video calls relatively short. Just propose a half-hour virtual coffee or virtual drink. The goal is to get to know each other a little bit and see if you would like to learn more about each other and go on a next virtual date.
Here are my practical tips for your successful virtual dates via video call.
Make sure that you're well dressed and well-groomed
Just because we are now all working and staying at home I don't want you to show up in your T-shirt and your yoga pants. It's a real (virtual) date!
It's a special occasion to get to know someone new, and first impressions, (and by the way also second third etc. impressions) are important and do count.
Pay attention to color
Pay attention to colors. So, for example, if you have a gray background from wherever you're making this video, and you have dark hair, and you're wearing a black shirt or dress, it's all very dark. So make sure that you bring in some color. Either wear something with a nice flattering color, or have a background that has some color. Don't make it too dark and gray.
Pay attention to details
When you agreed on a virtual coffee date or a virtual drink, then actually have your coffee or your drink there when you have the video date. Pay attention to all the details. If you have a glass of wine, put it in a nice glass. If you have a cup of coffee. pick a nice cup.
Set up your Smartphone
Then, if you do the virtual date from your smartphone, don't hold your smartphone in your hand because your hand will start moving and your hands will get tired, so put it somewhere stable where you can sit in front of the camera without holding it.
Light and camera angle
Make sure that the light is flattering. It is your first impression and people will see you as you are, however, do make an effort and put your best foot forward. These little details can make an enormous difference. When there is still daylight and you have light coming in from a window behind you, you will just be one dark shadow.
If it is night and the light is not good, there can be strange shadows on your face. There are cold and warm lights and certain lights will make you look pale as a ghost. Check the angle of the lights and avoid glare from your eyeglasses by adjusting the light.
Set your camera at a flattering angle. So that means you may have to move/adjust your laptop or smartphone camera. Probably the worst angle is when you have your laptop on your lap. A camera at an angle from below your face is for most people very unflattering so don’t do that. Make sure that you aim the camera directly at your face.
Have a neutral background
No first dates in the bedroom, especially for a first date with someone that you don't know, at least, your bed should not be visible. No first dates from the living room, where you're sitting in on your couch and people can actually see half your house in the background. You don't know the person yet, so I recommend a more neutral background. No background with things that are distracting, toys from the kids, a trashcan in a corner, photos on the wall, etc.
Test all these things before you do your live video date with someone.
Make sure that you have privacy
So, no kids walking in, your phone is set to silent so that there's other rings and beeps and things happening while you're on your date. If you have pets then the first virtual date is not the right moment to have your cat walk over your keyboard and back and forth in front of your screen or sit on your lap. Just don't do that on the first date, and maybe also not on the second or the third date. You can introduce your pets later.
Make the date a positive experience
This is also why I mentioned earlier that it is very important that you consciously work on keeping your energy up and positive because people feel your vibes and your energy.
Your date is not the moment to complain.
The coronavirus related situation has an enormous effect on your life. We are all impacted. We are all inundated with coronavirus related news from all other channels, so I recommend you to not spend your date discussing that. When you do speak about it, agree to not speak for longer than five minutes, just see how you're both coping with the situation.
After that, the date should really be a little bit of a refreshing break, and an enjoyable moment to get to know each other better.
Keep it short and end on a high note
It is actually really amazing how much you get to know about someone in just 30 minutes talking via video call. I recommend keeping the virtual date relatively short and ending it on a high note. Even when you think; “Oh my goodness my conversation is going so well, this is a really great guy I could talk to for hours”.
Say; “Wow, you know this was really nice. Would you like to do this again? I'd love to get to know you better.” If the feeling is mutual then schedule a next video call.
When it’s not right
So what if you are absolutely sure that you are not interested in getting to know this person better? Then just say that you enjoyed meeting him and say that you don't see things going any further. Tell him to take care and wish him well and end the conversation.
These are just a few tips that you can use for your virtual first dates. As I said, we are experiencing highly unusual times with the coronavirus pandemic. Unusual times call for unusual action and focus on what you can do to get to your goal of finding love.
Get more creative
When you continue to date someone virtually, then, of course, you have to also get more creative in your virtual dates. For example, you can virtually watch a movie together on Netflix or Youtube, if you both started at the same time, you can listen to music together virtually, you can sit on your balconies and watch the sunset and enjoy a glass of wine together virtually.
Enjoy your virtual dates while building a connection
Virtual video call dates are easy to organize and actually save us a lot of time! We don't have to drive anywhere, find parking, etc.
During normal times, going on one date per week is already quite an achievement. Being confined to your homes, I want to encourage you to go on multiple virtual dates per week. Create several opportunities and go on several virtual video call dates per week.
It is important that you try to enjoy this process of connecting to other professional singles who are also interested in finding a partner. It is really an opportunity to create good conversations and good connections. We have no idea how long this current social distancing or lockdown that we’re already experiencing will go on.
So when you meet someone who seems really great, then I want you to invest the time, the effort and energy into getting to know them better virtually. Once things go back to “normal”, you can meet in person and already have a wonderful base to build from!
If you would like to Master the Art of Virtual Dating, Check out my 8 weeks accelerated coaching and mentorship program focussed on getting dates through apps and mastering the art of virtual dating via the button here below.
Take care and stay well.