Wendy, like most of the clients that I work with, had an amazing life. She had a demanding but meaningful job with an international NGO in a role she really enjoyed and a close-knit circle of friends. She came to me at 35 because something was missing…
Wendy had an (almost) perfect life
Wendy lived in a gorgeous apartment with a view of the lake in Geneva, went to weekly yoga and cooking classes and regularly travelled all over the world to places like Costa Rica, Thailand and Kenya.
Her life, from the outside looking in, was every young professional’s dream.
As an incredibly driven person, she had accomplished nearly every goal she had ever set out to achieve. Yet, while everything seemed perfect, something was missing. As more time went on, this missing piece started to create a bigger and bigger hole.
She had always imagined herself settling down, being happily married, and starting a family by the time she was in her mid-thirties. Even though this had been on her mind over the past few years, the possibility of it becoming a reality was becoming less and less likely over time.
Like many of my clients, Wendy assumed that finding love would just “happen” at some point along the way.
But it didn’t.
Matchmaking didn’t work for her
With thirty-five right around the corner, she decided to take finding a partner more seriously and joined a dating and matchmaking agency.
The agency only introduced her to men well in their fifties. After investing a significant amount of money and only being presented to gentlemen nearly twenty years her senior, she became discouraged and disappointed. The idea of her future family appeared more distant than ever, slipping through her fingers like sand.
Frustrated, she decided to take matters into her own hands. She tried to do all the right things and followed the advice of her friends and family, but even though her dates were more age-appropriate, nothing seemed to stick.
A few years went by, and she finally came to the conclusion (again) that she couldn’t do this on her own and so she signed up with a matchmaking agency in London. She paid close to 20K francs and was promised a set number of dates in a specific number of months.
The agency fulfilled their part of the contract and Wendy did go on some dates but overall found it to be an incredibly disappointing experience. This wasn’t much different than when she was doing all the work herself!
Wendy felt herself slowly accepting the fact that some people just don’t get to ‘have it all’.
She was so lucky to have had such a successful career and wonderful friends and she would find a way to be OK with just that. After working with two agencies over the years and not having any successful relationships, she knew there wasn’t much hope to hold on to.
Wendy tried dating coaching as a last resort
Then one day while having coffee, a colleague of hers told her about how she was planning on moving in with her boyfriend in the coming weeks.
Wendy’s jaw dropped.
“What?! But I didn’t even know you were in a relationship? How did you meet him?”
That’s when her colleague, a former client of mine, told her a little bit about my process and how she’d met her partner, Greg.
Wendy had heard enough. Willing to give it one last chance, she met with me and joined my program. At this point, she had just turned forty and felt the pressure of finding a relationship to be able to start a family more than ever before. She fully committed to everything I coached her through and was willing to do all the work necessary.
Soon after we started working together, she met the man who is now her partner, Fred.
After their first date, I had a session with her and asked her how the date went. She told me that she really enjoyed herself and that he was enthusiastic, kind, and interesting. She shared that she was surprised by just how many interests they had in common, but even though she had a great time on the date, he “just wasn’t her type” and “there just wasn’t any spark”.
Based on what she shared with me, I encouraged her to give him another chance because the entire description of both him and the date was so incredibly positive. Wendy decided to give him a second chance and as they say, the rest is history. A second date turned into a third, which turned into a fourth, and so on.
(Are you dismissing potential partners because you “just didn’t feel a spark” or they “weren’t your type?” Find out if you’re prematurely passing on the person who could be the perfect partner for you. Check out my “Should I go on a second date?” checklist here.)
Months later we were chatting about how well things were going with her relationship and how serious things were getting and she exclaimed, “I just feel so lucky with how everything turned out. With Fred, it was really love at first sight”.
I nearly fell off my chair! I laughed to myself thinking back to our phone call shortly after their first date and the doubts she was having. Had she not given him a second chance, she wouldn’t have found her partner or be in a loving and successful relationship today.
It’s funny how we remember things once we find ourselves so incredibly happy.
Happily married in her forties
Within a year Wendy and Fred married in an incredibly beautiful ceremony just outside of Geneva. Both the bride and groom were only children and so their wedding was incredibly special to their parents.
Fred’s parents had him later in life and, before Wendy, they feared they wouldn’t live to see him marry. So, you can imagine their joy when Fred introduced them to Wendy and they got to attend their wedding.
It took Wendy and Fred longer than expected to conceive but with the help of IVF they now have two beautiful girls and the wonderful family Wendy always dreamed of.
Even though Wendy had her challenges especially at the very beginning, she hit the ground running when she joined my program and all her hard work paid off.
She now truly feels like she ‘has it all’.
Even if you’ve hired agencies in the past that didn’t work, there is still hope if you’re willing to put in the work.
The majority of dating and matchmaking agencies have an incredibly low success rate so don’t feel bad about failing in a program that was set up to fail from the beginning. If you’re ready for comprehensive and holistic support with a proven approach with an 85%+ success rate then book a complimentary consultation to see if it might be a good fit.
