Trea Tijmens

Trea Tijmens is a successful matchmaker and award-winning dating expert and coach. Since 2005, Trea successfully helps her select single, divorced and widowed clientèle find love. In this blog she shares dating and relationships tips and advice. Enjoy!

British Divorcee Finds Love in Switzerland Despite Believing, “There Are No Available Men in Geneva”

“The Train Man”

It was the 18th of March 2019 and Jane was standing on the platform in Bern waiting for the train when a voice came over the loudspeaker and spewed out something in German.

Single finding love train station

She looked up and spotted a nice looking man standing a few meters away. She approached him and said, “Excuse me. You seem like a nice man. Unfortunately my German isn’t very good yet. What was just announced over the speaker?”

He told her not to worry, that one of the train tracks has changed. He asked if she was going to Geneva and she said yes. So was he. They got on the train together and sat in a 4 seater section to continue their conversation.

They chatted the whole way from Bern to Geneva. She didn’t think much of it. When they were about to get off the train he said, “I enjoyed talking to you. Would you like to go for a coffee sometime?”

She smiled and said yes.

She wrote down her number on a piece of paper and handed it to him.

She smiled, feeling giddy but still trying not to get her hopes up. She walked home and thought, “He probably won’t call.”

He called the next day and they went for coffee. Then they met for lunch, soon after for dinner and a few months later they were officially a couple.

Meeting this man at the train station was a huge “Aha!” moment for Jane. You see, Jane was a client of mine.

Jane is a 57 year old British woman who has a successful international career with the UN. When I met her in early 2019, she’d been divorced for 12 years and she’d been living in Geneva for 4 years.

When she contacted me she shared that ever since she moved to Switzerland she had not been dating at all

She thought, “There are no available men in Geneva” plus she didn’t speak the local language.

She thought it’d be impossible for her to meet a man.

These limiting beliefs held her back from dating. But she hadn’t given up hope. She knew she did not want to spend the rest of her life alone. She wanted to find a partner to spend her life with, so she hired me to support her on her journey.

One of the first exercises I had her do was to change her focus. I asked her to spot and track how many new men she saw each day and where she spotted them. This is a powerful exercise I guide my clients through that allows us to become aware of our environment and the opportunities to meet men. We can see trends and learn from the data about where and when to find men so we can create more opportunities to meet them in real life.

It may sound simple, but so many of the women I see are oblivious to the men they actually encounter in their daily life. You can’t find a partner if you aren’t dating. You can’t date if you are not meeting men.

Think about it, if you work from home and barely have a social life because you’re swamped with work and too tired to do anything in the evening, then at the end of the day you’re going to have to put a big fat ZERO on your tracking sheet. That’s zero opportunities to potentially meet someone and a clear indicator that something needs to change.

This serves as a powerful reality check for women who believe, “There are no good men where I live.” There are good men, you’re just not aware of them yet.

I help my clients change that.

We create a new life where you do more of things you enjoy and provide more opportunities for you to meet men in real life.

After doing this exercise, Jane started to notice there were actually quite a lot of men in Geneva. But she continued to believe that it would be very difficult to meet someone because she didn't speak the local language.

To this I responded, “What we feel is a challenge can also be an opportunity.” I told her to flip this “flaw” around and use the fact that she didn’t speak the local language as an opportunity to meet men. I told her she could ask someone for help if she didn’t understand something. We practiced what she’d say in different scenarios.

One of the scenarios we rehearsed was the one that would soon lead her to her current partner, the “train man.”

Jane’s story is a beautiful example of transforming what was perceived to be a problem into an opportunity to start a conversation.

She was lucky. Not all women get the romantic train station encounter and happy ending right off the bat. She took my advice and implemented it once and it worked.

I have quite a few beautiful stories of clients (I’ll be sharing more with you soon!) who have tried something once and it worked. They’re always so amazed that something they thought would be complicated and impossible can actually be so simple and easy.

It’s important to note that it’s not always simple and easy. Sometimes it requires many more tries and perseverance. This is where many women get stuck. When an attempt to date or relationship doesn't work out the first time, doubt sets in, they often think, “I can’t do this anymore,” and they want to give up.

I cannot stress how important it is to keep going. Think about it. When you apply for a job and get a rejection letter, you don’t think, “Oh well. I’m just not going to work anymore.” You keep going until you succeed. You learn from each experience and get better at it.

With enough commitment, I am confident your own love story awaits you, too.

If you’re tired of dating without any real success, feeling defeated after yet another date doesn’t pan out, then I want to invite you to schedule a complementary call with me.

I am an award-winning dating expert and a certified science-based dating and relationship coach. I help women like you transition from where you are today, to being in a happy, fulfilling, lasting relationship with the right partner.

On this call we’ll dive into where you are now when it comes to your dating life, where you want to go, and we’ll build a bridge to help you get there. If I believe you’re a good fit to work with me in a coaching setting, I’ll share what that will look like. There is no pressure and no obligation.

Love is not by chance, it’s by choice.

And if you’re ready to choose love, then I’m committed to helping you find it.

Click here to schedule a complimentary consultation.

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samedi 25 septembre 2021

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