• Email : eeke@successmatch.ch

  • Phone : +41 78 654 1117

Trea Tijmens

Trea Tijmens is a successful matchmaker and dating coach. Since 2005, Trea has met and helped thousands of single, divorced and widowed professionals. In this blog she shares dating and relationships tips and advice and humor. Enjoy!

How to manage girlfriend/wife - software & Tech issues?

I love it when clients share humorous stories or cartoons with the SuccessMatch Team and me. The below hilarious parody about dating and marrying women, software and tech issues, was shared with us quite a while ago by a nice British widower in his 60s. You may be happy to know that he did upgrade the match we made him from girlfriend to wife and has not had any of the tech issues described below.

Enjoy the reading!

Trea

 

 Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,

A Troubled User

(Tech Support Reply continues below the photo)

b2ap3_thumbnail_Man-with-wife-and-tech-issues.jpg

TECH SUPPORT REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application « Yes Dear » to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C :\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt.3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of Luck,

Tech Support

 

Trea Tijmens is the CEO and Founder of SuccessMatch and DatingSuccess. A former headhunter, Trea launched her matchmaking and dating agency over nine years ago.  If you have questions or comments, or are interested in being matched,  do not hesitate to contact her at trea@successmatch.ch 

 

Love Conquers All and Other Myths
Who Should Pay on First Date?