Tips from a matchmaking dating expert
As a dating expert and founder and CEO of a matchmaking dating agency for successful single professionals I have met thousands of singles over the years and have found that everyone; both men and women need to sharpen their dating skills and can do with a little help with their blind spots.
Dating is a skill and learning process.
Here are my tips for the 6 most common mistakes that men tend to make on first dates.
Gentlemen, do not let these common mistakes hold you back in your dating success any longer.
1. Asking the wrong questions on a first date
These could be questions such as
Why are you still single?
Why did you get divorced? Break up with your ex?
Have you dated much lately? Or any other question that will make your date feel that she has to defend herself. Keep the first date light.
Your date should be an enjoyable moment.
The goal of the first date should be that your date would like to see you again and get to know you better.
2. Selling yourself
Confidence is good, however you do not spend the entire date monopolizing the conversation and talking about how fantastic you are and all the wonderful things you have accomplished so far. It is not a job interview! Instead speak about your interests, hobbies and things you are passionate about. If you make your life interesting and joyful, women will want to be part of that life.
3. Not showing an interest in her life
Yes, I know, sometimes women ask tons of questions. However, all ladies appreciate and want to find a gentleman who is truly interested in her as a person. So when she asks you a questions, make sure you reciprocate the question. Ask her about what she enjoys doing in her free time, where she enjoys spending vacations, what she is passionate about, etc.
4. Being too focused on sex
If you send signals that you are more interested in sex than in your date, she will be turned off. If you are too obsessed with sex you will come off as desperate.
Do not start out your date with a “hidden” agenda being that you will have wild sex within the next 2 hours. Believe me she will smell that from a mile away.
Yes, men, should take the lead in this area but observe the signs you are getting from your date and NEVER push.
Do not insist for her to come over to your place or insist on inviting yourself in to her place. Yes intimacy is important in all relationships however if you push your agenda too fast it will not lead to dating success and a relationship.
5. Not being a gentleman
Make no mistake; all women, including the ones who are strong, smart, successful and independent appreciate (or insist on) gentlemen. How can you show you are a true gentleman; by being polite, displaying good manners such as being courteous, taking the lead, being considerate (are you comfortable, are you enjoying your dinner). Yes paying for dinner is also the gentlemanly thing to do.
Making sure your date gets home safely after your date by accompanying her to her car or taking her to the station.
6. Not following up/indicating your interest
If you like her, do not keep her guessing, let her know! Tell her you enjoyed your date and you would love to see her again.
Say you will call her the next day and then CALL HER THE NEXT DAY!
Follow up the next day, have a plan and invite her for next date. If you wait more than 48 hours to contact her after that first date, chances are you will get a cold shoulder.
The single biggest mistake men make however; is not reaching out for help.
- If you are not meeting women or
- not meeting the right women or
- things are not working out with the women you meet, talk to me!
I am here to help. I offer matchmaking dating services as well as date coaching.
Contact me through our matchmaking dating website www.successmatch.ch