• Email : trea@successmatch.ch

  • Phone : +41 22 575 2975

Trea Tijmens

Trea Tijmens is a successful matchmaker and award-winning dating expert and coach. Since 2005, Trea successfully helps her select single, divorced and widowed clientèle find love. In this blog she shares dating and relationships tips and advice. Enjoy!

Why Most Dating and Matchmaking Agencies Don’t Work When You are Serious About Finding a Life Partner

Single and serious about finding a life partner and yet.. you’ve hardly been dating these past years?

Once in a blue moon, you meet a good guy, have a fun date and think, “Maybe this time it’ll be different.” When it doesn’t work out, you’re back to wondering, “How am I ever going to meet the right man?”

why dating agencies disappoint

You do realize that unless you change something, nothing is going to change and you will remain single, and you think that a dating or matchmaking agency could be a solution to your problem.

Time and time again I hear from single women, “I’m not meeting men. All I need is a dating or matchmaking agency to make me introductions and set me up on dates.”

Today, I want to share with you why this thinking is flawed and likely holding you back from making real progress with dating, and what to do instead.

Here’s the traditional way most dating and matchmaking services function: You sign a contract (contracts can range anywhere from 5K-75K). They promise you a specific number of dates in a set number of months. And here’s what usually happens: the agency delivers on the numbers they promised. You get your x dates in x months and some of them were decent matches, but by the end of agreement, you’re still at the same place where you started--single, minus the money you invested.

There is a better way.

Working with an agency or matchmaker who is only going to make introductions and get you on dates, is NOT enough.

I know this because that is what I used to do. I started SuccessMatch over 15 years ago and for many years, I interviewed lots of single professionals and organized lots of dates, and yes, I had some success, however, the percentage of people who actually ended up in a happy, lasting relationship was very low.

I realized that singles need more than an introduction. It’s not only who you meet, it is also how you meet. If you are not ready for love, you can go on 100 dates and still end up single. So I dove into learning all that I could about dating and relationships. I was coached by the top experts in my field. I invested a lot of time, energy and money in getting the best training, programs, mentorship and guidance.

Today, I am an award-winning dating expert and certified science-based dating and relationship coach and have completely transformed my program to a more holistic approach to finding your life partner.

My goal is no longer to organize X number of dates.

My goal is to help my clients transition from where they are today to where they want to be: in a happy, fulfilling, lasting relationship with the right partner.

At Success Match, we use a holistic approach that focuses on 3 pillars: Being, Finding and Choosing The Right Partner.

Being the Right Partner - In order to find the right partner, you have to be the right partner. First, we get clear about where you want to be and what you want to achieve. We clearly define what you need from a partner in order to be happy and fulfilled in the long run, the specific qualities you’re looking for, and what constitutes as your deal breakers.

Then we clear any emotional baggage that may prevent you from being fully present in the now and moving forward. We look at dating and relationship patterns that may not be conducive in reaching your goal, we address anything that could possibly stand in the way of you succeeding.

Very often, we stand in our own way of success. We identify limiting beliefs and self sabotaging behaviour and change that. We also work on your messaging (what do you put out there about yourself; not only your words, but also body language, facial expressions, dress style, energy count). An important thread throughout the program is making your own happiness and wellbeing your number one priority so that you feel great and have an attractive energy.

Finding the Right Partner - Next, we dive into how to create, recognize and act upon opportunities in real life and on dating apps, even if you have never tried this, or you’ve done this for years with no luck. I walk you step by step through it, have strict guidelines and show you exactly how to find and date quality men successfully. As an award-winning dating expert, this is my favorite part! I love helping my clients who often have not had quality dates in a long time, enjoy the dating process and I love guiding and empowering them to success.

Choosing the Right Partner - I also provide you with the tools, support and guidance to choose the right partner. What makes people compatible? Is it love or is it lust? Do your life values and relationship vision correspond? How do you build a solid foundation from which the relationship can grow and evolve? How do you resolve conflicts constructively when they come up? All this to realize your vision and goal of the most compatible, loving relationship you desire.

As a result, I now have a 100% success rate finding life partners for my select gentlemen matchmaking clients, and an 85% success rate with helping my private coaching clients find their life partners.

Most singles believe they do not need a dating coach and … they are wrong. Here’s why.

Most singles think all they need is to have a date with the right person and it’ll all magically work out. But that is unlikely. Everyone can benefit from support in finding the most important person in their lives.

Finding love has more to do with you than with the people you meet.
We all can use support in bringing out the best authentic version of ourselves, being guided and set up for success so that we are empowered to consciously and successfully find and date suitable singles.

We all have blindspots.

For example, one of my clients recently started to date online. She’s a beautiful and successful divorcee with 3 kids. She met a gentleman and sent me a screenshot of their chat so I could help her navigate the conversation. As soon as I saw the message I caught a trap she set up for herself and fell right into.

The conversation had started out well. She asked him, “So what are you looking for in a woman?” He shared that he hoped to find a wonderful beautiful woman with whom he could have a long happy relationship with.” They were perfectly aligned there, as that was her goal, too.

Then she asked him--the trap she didn’t know she set herself, “Isn't the fact that I have 3 children a problem for you?” I called her and asked, “Why did you say that?” She’d already listed that she was a mother of 3 in her profile. If that was a problem for him he wouldn't have contacted her so why draw attention to something she perceived as negative and overemphasize it right up front? When we do this, it can cause the other person to focus on the detail, which then becomes bigger the more they focus on it and can become a problem when it wasn’t before.

Who knows--your having kids might end up being one of their favorite things about you once he gets to know you better if you don't make them look at it as something that would be a deal breaker right off the bat.

Here's an example of a different client who took my advice and created an important opportunity she would have otherwise missed before we started working together. She had been single for years. She put up an ad on Facebook marketplace to sell a closet. The girl who was supposed to pick it up couldn’t so she sent a friend over to do it for her. A man showed up and they spent about half an hour taking down the closet together and chatting. When he left she wanted to text him and her first thought was, “No I couldn't…” but she remembered what I taught her and mustered up the courage.

She sent him a text saying, “Hey btw I really enjoyed our conversation. Would you like to go for a coffee sometime?” He said yes and they've been on 4 dates already. The little wins can literally change your life.

To do this, you must know how to find, create and act on the right opportunities.

Ready to stop wasting time and money on introductions from dating agencies that hardly ever lead to a real relationship?

If so, I’d love to invite you to sign up for a call to discover if my Find Your Success Match program is right for you.

On the call, we’ll discuss where you’re currently at when it comes to your dating and love life and how we can help you bridge the gap to find the lasting, fulfilling relationship you’ve been looking for.

Spots are limited and my calendar fills up fast. If you’re interested in learning more about my program, sign up for a complimentary consultation here

Here’s what a few of my single lady clients say about our work together:

"Before working with Trea, I did not even know what a dating coach was. I also believed finding a good man would be difficult. With Trea's dating support I met my now wonderful partner within just 2 months, while waiting at the train platform!"

"I have met Jack’s family and they are lovely. We will go to Ireland together this summer, we are excited and I can see how he genuinely is interested in me through his curiosity. We are learning how to be in a relationship with each other. We are learning to set standards for our relationship and build it the way we want it to be. Thank you for your support and your love."

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Monday, 12 April 2021

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