Trea Tijmens

Trea Tijmens is a successful matchmaker and award-winning dating expert and coach. Since 2005, Trea successfully helps her select single, divorced and widowed clientèle find love. In this blog she shares dating and relationships tips and advice. Enjoy!

What NOT to choose from the menu on a first date

I have previously written about how choosing the right restaurant for a first date has an impact on the overall dating experience.

Here is one of my own dating experiences to show that not only the restaurant but also the menu choice can have an impact on your dating experience. I celebrated my 23rd wedding anniversary last June so Yes, you are right, my dating experiences date back a long time, however; some experiences are timeless!

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Ok, here we go. This happened when I first moved from a relatively small village in the Netherlands to a HUGE city in the United States - Los Angeles.

Shortly after I arrived in LA, my American host family arranged a blind date for me. I am not entirely sure why they did this. Were they considerate and did they want me to get the most out of my experience in the US, or, did they simply want to get me out of the house for an evening....?

The guy in question was vaguely related to the family, lived in New York and was in LA for business. I actually do not remember much about him at all. What I do remember is that it was one of the most embarrassing evenings of my life. When I arrived at the restaurant and met my date at the table the waiter handed us the menus. After having exchanged some polite chitchat for five to ten minutes the waiter came back for our order. My date knew what he wanted and I quickly looked at the menu. Mmmmm, ... barbequed ribs sounded nice, so I ordered those. 15 minutes later I was served an enormous plate with a huge rack of ribs covered in barbeque sauce. While keeping the conversation going I started trying to remove the edible parts of the bones with knife and fork, and that's when I noticed my date was staring at me with open mouth. "That's not how you eat ribs" he said. Starting to feel I was doing something wrong, I flustered and asked him how he would eat them. When he replied that he would eat them with his hands, I thought he was kidding me and told him so. My date then turned around and called out loudly in the restaurant "Guys, how do we eat ribs in America?". The whole restaurant (or so it felt like to me) looked around and said "with your hands". By then I was redder than red from embarrassment.

People then continued to look until I finally picked up an in-sauce-covered rib with my fingers and took a bite, at which the whole restaurant applauded.

I do not recall how much of that rack of ribs I managed to eat after that. I came home that evening with a strong impression, not about the guy I had met but that barbequed ribs on a first date are a wrong choice.

Do you have a similar story to share? Get in touch and let us know.

Trea Tijmens is the CEO and Founder of SuccessMatch and DatingSuccess. A former headhunter, she founded SuccessMatch in 2005 to connect professionals for personal reasons instead of for professional reasons. If you have questions or comments do not hesitate to contact her at



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Saturday, 23 October 2021

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