Trea Tijmens

Trea Tijmens is a successful matchmaker and award-winning dating expert and coach. Since 2005, Trea successfully helps her select single, divorced and widowed clientèle find love. In this blog she shares dating and relationships tips and advice. Enjoy!

This Single Woman Stopped Putting Love on the Backburner and Here’s What Happened

Mia, an incredibly successful marketing executive in Zurich came home after an exciting but long day at the office. She sat down on her designer sofa and suddenly reality came crashing down. She looked around and all she could see in her apartment were things.

Single woman alone designer couch

Normally she prided herself on having such a beautiful apartment because she had worked so hard to make it a reality. The tiles in her kitchen still shined bright and clean from the remodel... The walls in the hall adorned with her travel photography, a nice touch from the designer that she had hired when she moved in…. The beautiful mountain view from her living room window, impeccably decorated, it was everything she always wanted... In fact it was just a few weeks ago that she had bought the 12.500 CHF sofa that she was now sitting on.

That’s when it hit her: she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life sitting alone on her fancy sofa.

A week earlier Mia and I had done a second in depth consultation. She told me that she loved my SuccessMatch methodology and was really excited by my program but wasn’t quite ready to make the financial investment. She said she would get back in touch once she was more settled and ready to commit.

After she came to the realization a week later that a beautiful home with beautiful things wasn’t going to give her the fulfilling life she craved, she called me back and said, “I’ve realized that I have no problem investing lots of money in all of these other things but if it’s to invest in my own personal wellbeing and happiness, I can’t help but hesitate, why?”

Love, like anything else important in life, requires time, energy and commitment to be successful. Human beings aren’t meant to go through life on their own. In fact, studies show that people in happy relationships live longer, more fulfilling and more successful lives.

Mia, like many other clients of mine, kept telling herself that she was too busy to find love. She believed that if she had a partner, she would make space in her life for the relationship.

The problem is, our priorities are what we decide to invest our time, energy and money in. Even if you say that finding a partner is a priority for you just look at your life to see if that is true.

If you look at your life and mainly have to show for it business accomplishments or material objects then that is what your priorities have been.

How much better would your life be right now if you had a partner to share it with?

Imagine, instead of coming home at the end of a long day and just having ‘stuff’, you have your confidant. Disconnecting would be easier than ever as your worries melt away with the excitement of opening that front door knowing your best friend and partner is on the other side of it. Understanding how valuable this is to you is critical in how you can actively make finding love a true priority in your life. You can choose to make love your priority.

At SuccessMatch, we help successful singles find life partners and make love a reality every year. Everyday, I feel honored that helping my clients realize their dream of finding a great partner is my job! I know it might seem like an impossibly distant dream now but the power of the right support, guidance and accountability is truly life changing.

The biggest difference between those who get what they want and those who stay stuck is all about taking action. I can’t do it for you but that doesn’t mean you have to do it alone. There’s a huge difference between knowing what to do and actually doing it and that is what I am there to help you do.

Like anything else you want to achieve at the highest level possible, getting the best expert possible on your side will give you a huge advantage to avoid the pitfalls and find what you are looking for. If you're ready to get the high level support you need, I'd love to invite you to schedule a complimentary consultation to see if Success Match is right for you.

When you decide to commit to a partnership you are truly giving yourself the best chance possible. I know this because I used to work differently and like most other dating agencies and matchmakers, I helped set my clients up on dates. I quickly learned that without the holistic approach to create a completely tailor-made experience and support for each client and their individual challenges, I wouldn’t be able to get the kind of results I knew were possible.

Now I have a 100% success rate matching my gentlemen clients with the right partner, and my SuccessMatch coaching program for women has an 85% success rate.

It may not feel like the time is quite right and you may feel like you have lots of things you need to take care of before you can make finding love a priority, like putting in extra time at work or investing in a new apartment. Sometimes it feels like we have too many balls in the air to add another one, but instead of focusing on what is already happening you need to figure out what is most important to you, like Mia.

Deciding to invest in her own happiness was the first step to finding love, but that doesn’t mean that it was as easy as that.

Even my most committed clients have to truly go through the transformational process to reach their goals.

Mia had been in one long term relationship that ended years ago and had been single for a long time. She told me in one of our first sessions that her ex had left her for someone else which had created a huge fear of rejection and feeling that she wouldn't be enough for a partner. While she was a successful business woman, she was consumed by the fear that she wasn’t attractive enough to find love.

So much so that she wasn’t dating and she was unable to really engage with the men that she was interacting with in her life. She had never tried dating online or using any dating applications and was scared to start.

As we started working together we went through the process starting with the first of three phases, what I call ‘Being the right partner’ and we were able to identify what was standing in the way for her. This included the heavy emotional baggage that she was burdening herself with along with her unhealthy dating (or lack thereof) patterns and primarily her damaging beliefs and overall mindset.

For Mia we had to develop concrete and programmatic support and advice about how to find the right partner for her. I held her hand through the process of facing her fears and doing the work she needed to be able to start actively dating again. We even finally helped her set up a profile on a dating app.

It was through that dating app that Mia would meet her future partner who was thrilled to be with such a wonderful woman. On their first date they went on a hike in the Swiss Alps. She called me worried about the date, immediately embarrassed thinking about how he would be behind her and they would be walking uphill. She was convinced that he probably would be thinking that her butt was huge! Clearly she still had some insecurities to deal with. :)

He suggested a hike because they both loved nature and suggested that at the end they could go to thermal baths. At first she enthusiastically said ‘yes’ but then felt uncomfortable thinking about being in a bathing suit on the first date.

In our coaching session I helped her overcome her insecurities about the hike. I also helped her come up with a way to communicate that she wasn’t comfortable going to the thermal baths on a first date. She politely shared with him that she wouldn’t go to the baths but was otherwise excited for the date.

The date went wonderfully and they are now a happy couple and have been together for six years.

Mia wrote to let me know that they just bought a beautiful new apartment together. I have their postcard in my kitchen. Funny enough the picture shows Mia sitting on a beautiful leather sofa but this time Mia is beaming into the camera with her husband’s arms wrapped snugly around her, their two little girls playing at their feet. She told me that she wished she had just put finding love first years before and she could have enjoyed this life a lot sooner.

Mia was one of the first clients I coached after I realized the importance of the coaching aspect of finding love. Before then I just set clients up on dates because that is what singles told me they were looking for. Once I realized that this had a low success rate I went back to school to study the intricacies of dating and relationships and the psychology behind them. I am now an award winning dating expert and science-based dating and relationship coach and I’ve seen the impact that my method of BEING, FINDING and CHOOSING the right partner has on finding long lasting partnership. Thanks to this I get to hear beautiful stories like Mia’s from my clients.

Look around at your life and what it is made up of. Whatever you see is what you have made a priority. Stop putting off making your personal life a priority so that you can start to enjoy the life you’ve created with someone else NOW. Don’t wait and wish you could have started your life with them years before.

Whatever your situation is, NOW is the time to start.

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Saturday, 25 September 2021

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