Blog, Tips and Dating Support for Singles in Switzerland
Single? 5 Things to Do Differently in Dating This Year
Many single women crave to find love and share the rest of their lives with the right partner. They believe reaching this goal is a priority, but the reality is that few single women do anything (or enough) to reach that goal. Here are the 5 things you can do differently in dating this year to get different (and better) results.
Monica was such a catch…but still single
Last January my client, Monica from Lucerne, was single and had no idea why she had not yet found a great partner. All her friends kept telling her she was “such a catch.” She had an amazing job, lots of interests, was attractive, quite successful, and social. It didn’t make sense to her or anyone she knew that she was still single.
When she came to me, she told me that she had had enough of being single, that her personal goal and priority was to find the right man to build a happy, lasting relationship with.
So, to start, I asked her what she was already actively doing to reach her goal and find love. It turns out, like most singles, she really wasn’t doing much of anything. She had downloaded a dating app, deleted it, and then downloaded it again a couple of times but as far as any real action, nothing at all.
By the end of my eight-month date coaching program, 100% of ladies are actively dating and over 85% end the program in committed relationships. If you commit to action now then this time next year, instead of wondering when love is going to happen to you, you’ll be well on your way to planning a romantic weekend in the mountains.
5 things you need to do differently to start dating this year
Now is the time to seize the moment and start creating the life that you want for yourself. The best way to get started is to, as they say, just do it! I understand it can be challenging to know exactly how to get started, but don’t let this cause paralysis.
1. Get clear about who you are and what it is you need to be happy and fulfilled with a partner in the long run.
Be open and honest with yourself and others that you’re looking for the right partner to build a long-term, fulfilling and committed relationship.
What are the qualities that are important to you as a life partner?
What kind of person are you looking for?
What kind of person would that person be looking for?
Identify any dealbreakers but be realistic about what you would be willing to compromise on if you found someone you had a deep connection with and who has the qualities you need to be happy in the long run.
You’d be surprised what women classify as deal breakers but are then willing to compromise on when they find the right person. Read here about some of my clients who went from ‘‘deal breaker’’ first date to happily married with children.
2. Learn to recognize opportunities to meet new people
You are likely facing many more opportunities to meet new people on a daily basis than you realize.
Here’s a great way to check this out: Start tracking how many men you come into contact with that you don’t already know. If you think about this before doing it you might say 5 or 10, but as you go through your day and begin to tally every man you encounter, that number will duplicate quicker than you’d expect.
If you have trouble doing this, you can even do this with a friend as sometimes a neutral party can help give you perspective. Think about all the people you meet at places like the grocery store, post office, gym, etc.
We see what we focus on, and it is important to be aware of opportunities around you and shift your focus to all the possibilities instead of all the limitations.
3. Create new opportunities to meet people
Once you can start to recognize opportunities you will be surprised by how many more opportunities seem to fall in your lap. Now that you see that even on your way to work you’re crossing paths with hundreds of people, you can finally start to take advantage and create opportunities.
You don’t have to marry every person you speak to but practice really does make perfect. In fact, I’d recommend to create opportunities and start conversations to start fine tuning your skills.
Do ask men for help as often as possible. Stop googling and ask men for directions, recommendations, the time or even help translating. Read here about clients of mine who have made interactions like these into amazing relationships.
Make a conscious effort and choice to show up with an open, warm, friendly body language and attitude. Once you find the confidence to do this regularly you will naturally seem more open and attractive to others to approach you too, only you have the power to make this change.
4. Create your own connection
It’s easy to feel like you’re in over your head when you start dating again but you have more control than you realize. Learn how to put yourself back in the driver's seat on first dates. You’ll quickly learn that those who claim, ‘‘There just wasn’t any spark!’’ likely just didn’t have the right tools to make it happen.
Take everything from the first date from a positive angle and you’re much more likely to build off the positive momentum. Picture the difference between someone going into a date looking forward to creating a connection, determined to find commonalities and shared experiences, and someone going on a date waiting to see if an ambiguous spark miraculously presents itself, or worse, assuming the date will likely be another disappointment!
Imagine going on dates with both of those people, who do you think you’d have a better time with? Take the pressure off and give each date the best chance possible and worst-case scenario you get to meet an interesting new person and practice your dating skills.
5. Get the RIGHT support
BEING, FINDING and CHOOSING the right partner is fundamental to finding love and the foundation of my signature, science-backed method. The statistics truly speak for themselves. By the end of the eight-month program 100% of the women who join my program are dating and over 85% are in committed relationships.
It can be tricky to find your blind spots and sometimes the help of well-intentioned friends and family can make things more complicated than necessary.
Having the support you need from a dating coach will set you up for success and this time next year you will likely be sitting on the couch and instead of sitting by yourself wishing you had done something, anything, to find love you’ll be sitting next to your partner wondering why you didn’t take action sooner! I say so because that’s the message I got from Monica around the holidays after she joined my program last January.
Trea, I’m kicking myself for not joining sooner, but I suppose everything happens when it’s supposed to. I’m so thrilled to be spending the New Year with Rick by my side and can’t wait for what’s to come!”
If you’re ready to take action and be in a committed relationship by this time next year then schedule a complimentary consultation. I would love to support you in finding your success match!