• Email : trea@successmatch.ch

  • Phone : +41 22 575 2975

Trea Tijmens

Trea Tijmens is a successful matchmaker and dating coach. Since 2005, Trea has met and helped thousands of single, divorced and widowed professionals. In this blog she shares dating and relationships tips and advice and humor. Enjoy!

Personal Matchmaker Advises You How to Be the Perfect Gentleman on a First Date.

If you want to meet the woman of your dreams, your first challenge is getting a date. 

There is no shortage of ways to get a date these days: personal matchmaker services, online dating sites, speed dating events, dating apps, asking someone out; there are many different ways to start dating.
The next question is; do you know how to put your best foot forward on that first date?
At SuccessMatch we have worked with thousands of singles and you’d be surprised at what men do and don’t do when they should be making that all-important first impression.
Having worked as professional matchmakers for over 12 years, we know that, even though nowadays most women are independent and strong in many ways, they still wish to be treated like a lady and wish to meet a true gentleman! We therefore always suggest that you show off your best self, and be the gentleman that ladies wish to meet and get to know better.

So, courtesy of a top personal matchmaker, here are some ways you can accomplish being the perfect gentleman on your first date. advice from personal matchmaker be a gentlemen

1. Dress to impress.
Make sure you know how to dress for the event. Wear a freshly ironed clean shirt. Unless your first date is a hike, make sure you wear nice (polished) shoes. A little attention to detail goes a long way with women.
Also, while it seems understood, make sure your grooming is impeccable. Trim your beard and any errant hairs on your face and ears, make sure your hands and nails are clean and that you smell good (but not overpowering).

2. Be “old-fashioned” and chivalrous.
Holding the door open, paying for the date, pulling the chair out and walking her to the door, are little things that show you are paying attention to her. If she’s wearing a jacket, help her put it on. Be attentive and make sure your date is comfortable during your date. Also, do make sure she gets home safely.

3. Turn off your cell phone and put it away.
It’s a blow to a woman’s ego (and a man’s for that matter) when her date sends text messages, answers emails or takes calls while they are out on a date together. This tells her that the little bit of time you have carved out to meet her is unimportant or that there is something else more interesting on the phone. If you want to show her photos of something, politely ask her if she minds if you take out your phone to show her, then put it away when you are finished. No peeking at texts. Even if your date excuses herself to go to the bathroom, do not take your cell phone out to check messages.

4. Watch your language.
While it might be ok to drop some “F bombs” among your buddies, leading off with bad language when you are getting to know someone on a date is a definite turn off for many ladies.

5. Don’t drink too much.
Sure it is nice to share a glass of wine on a first date or even a few. However, no matter how great your date is going, do not drink too much and also do not give her too much to drink. Whilst she may appreciate it during the date, later on she may not, and she may decide not to see you again.

6. Take the lead
Be a man with a plan. As a gentleman, you want to make sure she enjoys her date, so be in charge and make sure you keep the lead. Pick the restaurant, call over the waiter, ask her what she would like, ask for the check, etc.

7. Focus your conversation on her.
Ask her questions about her life, and show her that you are interested in her and you want to get to know her. Don’t fall into the trap of talking about an ex- it’s tacky. Women do not want to hear about your ex any more than you want to hear about theirs. What went wrong with her last relationship or yours is not important when you first meet. Keep it light, positive, and be interested in what she’s about. If she directs the conversation to talk about the ex, gently redirect it to something else.

8. Be polite.
Be polite to your date and anyone you encounter on your date. Women notice whether or not you treat them and others with respect.

9. Mind your table manners.
You can be the most amazing gentleman, but lack of basic table manners such as chewing with your mouth closed, using your knife and fork correctly, no elbows on the table whilst eating, is a real turn off for most women.

10. Be affectionate but not forward.
Touching her hand or arm when you are talking is a sure sign to let her know you are interested, but don’t be inappropriate. Nothing will douse cold water on a date like an unwelcome advance.

11. Look at her when you are speaking and listening. matchmaker suggest only have eyes for your dateLooking around while your date is talking to you is a good way to send her the message that you have no interest in what she is saying, even if that is not the case.
Keep eye contact so she knows that the only thing going on at that moment is your time with her.

12. Pay her a sincere compliment.
Most women can smell a phony a mile away, but saying something genuine will go a long way. If you think she looks pretty, tell her. If you like her red heels, tell her. If you are impressed with her fluent Italian, give her a compliment. A compliment does not cost you anything and will make her feel good, so always be generous with sincere compliments.

13. Do what you say.
If you tell her, you would like to see her again and will call her, CALL her! A gentleman follows up within 24 hours after the date to express his interest and a proposal or plan to meet up again.

14. Always be a gentleman.
Always be a gentleman, even if she is not a lady! Take the advice of a personal matchmaker, being a gentleman always pays off in the end.

I know most of these points might appear to be common sense, but sometimes it’s hard to remember all the little things that add up to an overall good impression on a first date. Keep these tips to be a gentleman in mind and put your best YOU forward so that she will definitely want to see you again!

No one to date?
Contact SuccessMatch and schedule a complimentary consult to find out how we as your personal matchmakers can help.

 

NB. You may also be interested in reading our blogpost on How to avoid the 6 most common dating mistakes made by men

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