Trea Tijmens

Trea Tijmens is a successful matchmaker and award-winning dating expert and coach. Since 2005, Trea successfully helps her select single, divorced and widowed clientèle find love. In this blog she shares dating and relationships tips and advice. Enjoy!

How working with a dating coach helped Switzerland’s ‘Forever Bachelor’ Finally Find Love

Find Love

After years of setting singles up on dates with low success rates, I learned that working with me as their dating coach is the better solution for my single clients.

With the holistic approach and support for each single client and their individual challenges, I was able to get the kind of results I knew were possible for those successful people wanting to find their life partner.

Each of my single client's obstacles are unique and many times what works for one client will not necessarily work for another.

Christopher was a busy Swiss single man in his late 30s

A few years ago a single Swiss-German gentleman in his late 30’s, Christopher, contacted me saying that he was ready to find a partner, settle down and start a family. Even though he had been dating for years, he was still single.

Christopher was a successful entrepreneur who was highly educated, tall, good looking and very sporty. He was extremely outgoing and had a great sense of humor. He really had everything going for him.

While most times I do exercises with my clients to create opportunities to meet people, Christopher was meeting women everywhere he went! He would bump into a woman in a grocery store and suddenly have dinner plans. Once, while accidentally trying to get into a taxi that was already taken, the woman inside gave him her card and said she would love for him to ask her out. Everywhere he went he was meeting women; at the gym, on his way to work, at work conferences, etc. Clearly meeting women was not his problem.

We did some work to figure out what the issue was and quickly found out that his challenge was committing. He traveled a lot, knew a lot of people and was frequently dating, but was never able to find something that would stick. He would have relationships of three to five months but was always meeting new women and feared he would miss out on the perfect one for him.

The challenge for Christopher was dating too many women and never fully investing himself in one relationship. You can not commit to a relationship if you are not giving your 100%.

Dating coach helps you understand your goals

Through date coaching, we first identified what he needed to be fulfilled in a long-term, committed, exclusive relationship with the goal of marriage and a family.

He shared that he preferred a Swiss-German woman since he traveled so often and was constantly meeting people from other cultures and decided that ultimately if they shared the same language and background it would be a lot easier to get settled in Switzerland.

Christopher was incredibly athletic and was a football fanatic and had been to the past three champions league finals and had plans to attend that year’s champions league final in Kiev. He spent a week in Kiev and while he was there, he met someone. They had a great connection, but he finally came to the conclusion that, with him being so busy with work and her living in Ukraine, there was no point in starting a relationship.

Christopher met a woman when travelling to see football games

Christopher met a woman when travelling to see football games

After he returned they kept in touch and continued to invest in getting to know each other better. He went to visit her in Kiev several times and she came to Switzerland to visit him as well; they were both clearly making an effort.

When he spoke to me about her, he kept trying to identify red flags in order to disqualify her, recognizing that he enjoyed getting to know her but trying to decide that he would have to move on. The problem was there were no red flags. She seemed to be an amazing woman with all of the qualities Christopher was looking for in a partner and more, and so they finally started officially dating.

Once things started to get more serious he shared with his family that he was seeing a Ukrainian woman, and they shared a lot of concerns about her. They were worried that the cultural differences would be too big. One family member brought up that another cousin had married a Russian girl and it didn’t work out and that he should seriously reconsider the relationship.

We had a few date coaching sessions about it. I shared with him that his cousin’s story didn’t have to be his story. We are the creators of our own stories. He decided to look at what was working in the relationship and the qualities she had and the fact that she was equally investing in the relationship. After continuing to date they had reached a point where he needed to decide if he was ready to commit or not.

Intercultural dating is still a controversial topic

Intercultural dating is still a controversial topic

Through much reflection, he finally arrived at the conclusion that she had all the qualities he needed in a partner, an amazing personality, smart and successful, was beautiful inside and out and that she was ready to commit to Christopher and the relationship. He realized he really did love the woman he met in Kiev and he was finally able to commit. They got married a year and a half after meeting and have now been together for two years and counting.

The forever bachelor was finally able to overcome his fear of commitment by working with me as his dating coach.

Forever bachelor found his match

I was invited to their wedding, which was incredibly beautiful and intimate at her family’s home outside of Kyiv overlooking a lake. It was an incredibly emotional moment for me to be able to be there and know that I had a positive impact on this couple’s life and was able to help them through the very challenging start of their relationship.

Christopher looked classically handsome in his tuxedo but all eyes were on his stunning bride with a gorgeous smile as she walked down the aisle.

I regularly get photos from them and I always think back to that beautiful day and that unforgettable wedding.

No matter what is holding you back from finding love, we can work to identify it together and overcome anything as long as you are willing to do the work.

Click here for a complimentary consultation.

In one of my client’s own words, "Pass on my very best wishes to Trea, and tell her that thanks to her, I found the love of my life and that we are about to celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary, as well as our son Matthias’ second birthday."

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Sunday, 28 November 2021

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