Trea Tijmens

Trea Tijmens is a successful matchmaker and award-winning dating expert and coach. Since 2005, Trea successfully helps her select single, divorced and widowed clientèle find love. In this blog she shares dating and relationships tips and advice. Enjoy!

3 Obstacles That Were Holding These Singles Back From Meeting ‘The One’… and How They Overcame Them

What’s holding you back from finding a partner and building and maintaining a successful relationship?

Believe it or not, ninety percent of the time WE are the ones standing in our own way when it comes to finding a partner, no matter how ready we think we are to find one. Lots of times the habits and limitations we have have been created by ourselves and sometimes it takes an outsider to help us see where things are going wrong.

Single overcoming obstacles find love

Sometimes it’s the small things that we don’t realize have become a limitation to us.

For example, I had a gentleman client who told me he was 100% ready to find love and that it was a priority to find his partner. In many ways he really was fully prepared and committed to the process of searching for love. In one big way he wasn’t.

Single success finding match partner

He was not really over his ex. His biggest fear was that he would never find someone as incredible, beautiful and wonderful as his ex. He frequently brought her up and compared everyone with her. He was walking around carrying this emotional baggage and it was sabotaging his chances of finding a new partner.

What is emotional baggage? Emotional baggage is any strong emotion from the past that prevents you from being fully present in the now and moving forward.

To move on we had to lighten the load of his emotional baggage and recast the past. First, we worked on some exercises to release his limiting emotions.

Only when he was truly able to close the chapter on his last relationship was he able to move on. Shortly after doing this work together he met an amazing and beautiful life partner who has all the qualities and more that he needs to be happy and fulfilled in the long run. Last year they moved in together.

Another client claimed she was never approached by men and didn’t understand why.

I had a very successful female client in her mid forties who came to me. She hadn’t been in a serious relationship for over five years, but she was committed and ready to invest the time, energy and resources necessary to get the result that she wanted: to find the right life partner. The problem was she was having difficulty meeting men and she didn’t know why.

During one of our video consultations the camera fortuitously froze as she was wiping the hair away from her face. I noticed a beautiful, very large ring on her ring finger and asked her about it. She told me it was an heirloom left to her by a beloved family member.

Engagement ring off singles marketWe discussed how it could easily have been confused for a wedding ring. While this wasn’t the only thing keeping her back it is important to note how this may have been limiting her. Just like we ladies do, single men also look at a woman’s hand to see if there is a wedding band to determine whether someone is “off limits”.

She was sending a direct message for anyone looking to not approach her out of romantic interest. She realized that her ring was signaling that she was “off the market” and replaced it with a fun fantasy ring.

Within weeks (and after more work on other aspects of her life) she was approached much more often when in the right situations.

A single woman who had just moved to Switzerland came to me saying it was impossible for her to find a partner because she didn’t speak the local language.

She was actively working on herself in many areas. She believed however, she had zero opportunities to meet men. We discussed that she probably was having more possibilities to meet men than she even realized.

We did several exercises to help her become aware of how many situations she was regularly in around other men. We discussed her perceived limitation of not speaking the language and I convinced her that this was actually a great advantage.

single woman train station finds partnerShe had an easy excuse to initiate a conversation that would automatically put men in a position to help her. Shortly after, she met a man while at a train station after asking for his help since she couldn’t understand the announcements over the loudspeaker. You can read her beautiful love story here. They chatted during the entire train ride and he asked for her number once they arrived at their destination. They are now in a committed long-term relationship.

Here’s what she had to say about her experience:

“Before working with Trea, I didn't even know what a dating coach was. I also believed finding a good man would be difficult. With Trea's dating support I met my now wonderful partner within just 5 weeks, while waiting at the train platform!”

Fears, limiting beliefs and self sabotaging adversely affect our ability to make connections.

Over the past 15+ years I’ve worked with many successful single professionals. I’ve had the privilege of supporting my clients to step into the best version of themselves and find the love they desire and deserve. I help my clients overcome the limitations or obstacles that are standing in their way so they can find the right partner and build the happy and fulfilling relationship they desire.

I do this by using my proven, holistic approach that focuses on 3 pillars:

Being, Finding and Choosing The Right Partner.

If you’re ready to find your Success Match, I’d love to help you. Click here to schedule a free consultation now. And find out if you are a fit for my successful approach in finding a life partner.

I really enjoy observing how quickly I got to date a nice man and this is purely because of coaching, guidance by Trea and my determination to apply what I learned diligently, and with a lot of fun at the same time. I enjoy the most to witness my own transformation, being aware that this is a process that will last. Coaching provided me a structure, focus and the right tools for dating. I think that is what many single individuals may lack and this can be very helpful and enable successful dating and identification of the right partner for a happy relationship.” - Emily R.

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Sunday, 28 November 2021

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