If you are a single, divorced, or widowed man and would like to meet a nice partner but are not sure on whether and how to approach women, then this is for you!
If you are a single man reading this post and your interest is picking up as many women as possible for short-term sexual encounters, then this info is not for you. There are plenty of pick-up gurus to be found on the internet that give tips on how to do that.
For all the other single men, let’s talk about the question: to approach her, or not to approach her, and how to approach her.
I am an award-winning dating coach, as well as an international matchmaker. Over the past 18 years, I have touched the lives of thousands of single men and women. One of the complaints I hear from single women is that they have a tough time meeting quality men.
Men In Switzerland Don’t Approach Women
If you are a single man and usually do not approach women, you are no exception! I believe over 85% of men do not approach women in real life.
In Switzerland, many amazing and attractive women are never approached by men! No men are asking them out.
Now, don’t get me wrong, that does not mean that they do not speak to women at all. Some single men are great networkers for professional purposes, they talk to many women at professional networking events, but…. they do not ask the women they speak to out. It never leads to a date and thus they (the men and women) remain single.
So, when I speak about men approaching women, I mean with the goal of potentially meeting someone nice who you could ask out for a date.
So, to approach or not to approach? My answer as a love coach and dating expert is very clear: YES, Approach!
What Does It Mean to Approach Women?
Approaching literally means to move forward / to advance toward / to move closer. So, approaching is a process of movement. A step by step process of moving you closer to something – which in this case is your goal of finding that special lady for you!
Approaching is actually very simple
There is nothing to worry about or fear if you take it as a step-by-step process. Don’t overthink too much, just take that first step and you are on your way.
You men can approach a woman anywhere, anytime because, although your ultimate goal is finding the right lady, to find that right lady you need to date, and in order to date you need to meet women and in order to meet women, you have to say “Hello.”
Everything starts there, a simple “hello” “Hello” is risk-free – you are just being friendly – should she not respond at all, her loss, if she is not kind, she is not the right woman for you anyway.
There are plenty of amazing, wonderful, attractive women out there who are right for you.
Everything starts with a “Hello”.
From that “Hello”, the next step is seeing if you can build a conversation and a connection. A conversation is built, meaning you offer something, then she offers something, then you offer something, etc. etc.
If you offer something and there is nothing coming back, you can try one more time but if there is no interest to build a conversation further, then that is the end of the conversation. And that is absolutely ok.
If on the other hand you can build a conversation, you can see whether you like her.
Does she seem kind, sweet, interesting, fun and…does she seem interested in you?
Read Her Body Language
Gentlemen, please! Learn how to read women’s body language! It is usually very obvious as to whether a woman is interested in you.
Does she smile, maintain eye contact, turn her body towards you, adjust her hair, to give a few examples?
Learning to read a woman’s body language will help you get a better idea as to whether she is open to being asked out.
Don’t Make These Mistakes When Approaching Women
In my view, the biggest mistake men make is that they do not approach women at all.
When men do approach women, these are the 2 most common mistakes they make:
- They forget that it is a process. That you have to take it step by step. Many men are very goal oriented. They would like a date and so they may go in straight for the win – “You look beautiful, can I have your number.” This approach usually doesn’t work with quality women – they don’t know you. Why would they give their number to a stranger?
- They take one or two steps and then chicken out – I’ll come back to this point in a minute.
Where can you approach a woman?
You can do it almost anywhere, anytime. These are the exceptions:
- When she is engrossed in a phone conversation or in a conversation with someone else – not the optimum moment to approach.
- In the evening when it’s getting dark in a park or alley, certainly do not come up to us from behind! That will freak any woman out.
- Night clubs with music so loud that you cannot exchange a word.
- Do not approach when you’ve had too much to drink.
Some more tips from your love coach
- Don’t have a “hidden” agenda. Of course, I know that you are not one of those men, but when men have “an agenda” when they approach a woman and that agenda is: I want her in my bed ASAP! – We ladies can see you coming from miles away! And believe me, for the quality woman you are looking for as your life partner, that will be a total turnoff. It will not work!
- First impressions count – women have an eye for detail. Be well dressed and groomed, have fresh breath, look like you are a quality man who has got his act together.
- When you are building a conversation with a woman, don’t sell yourself, don’t try to impress her with professional accomplishments or talk about your chalet in Verbier, the latest Patek Phillippe watch you bought, etc. Instead make the conversation about her. Listen and show an interest in her life.
Take It One Step At A Time
Bottom line: approaching is a step by step process, but you do need to take the steps in order to get to your destination.
When you take it step by step you do not need to fear rejection. When you take the process one step at the time you are moving forward. You start with “Hello,” and you see how you connect.
If at any time during the conversation, you are either no longer interested, or she does not give off any signs of interest, then you can end the conversation.
And that is it. Simply the end of a conversation.
If on the other hand, you had a nice conversation, she seems to like you, and you like her, then, do take that next step!
Do not chicken out!
Don’t say, “it was nice talking and see you sometime” or, “let’s connect via LinkedIn.” Remember, approaching is a step by step process! But you’ve got to take the next step! You said A, now say B – ask her out!
If you are interested in getting to know her better just say something like;
“You seem like a wonderful woman. If you are single, I would be happy to get to know you better and invite you for a coffee sometime.”
“I really enjoyed talking to you. If your are single, would you like to meet me for a coffee later this week, so we can continue the conversation?”
Ask: “do you have a number?” When you ask, can I have your number, she may hesitate, but when you ask do you have a number, she’ll say yes. Because she does.
Give her your business card. This will help establish credibility and trust.
Now, she will most certainly google you before you next meet – so make sure your digital footprint is positive and consistent.
Make sure ladies will not find unflattering or embarrassing pictures on your Facebook page or elsewhere. And gentlemen, that includes photos of you surrounded by sexy ladies. Those photos may seem cool to your other single male friends, but to a quality lady who is looking for a quality partner you may now come across as a player and she will not be interested.
If she is hesitant to give you her number, tell her: “Call me old-fashioned but I believe it is still the gentleman who should take the initiative and invite a lady, so I am happy to give you my business card with number, but I would still like your number so I can invite you out properly.”
What If She’s Not Single?
So what if? During your conversation it becomes apparent that she is not single? Nothing to worry about, you continue the conversation a bit longer and then move on. So what if? You have asked her for her number or invited her for a coffee or lunch and now she reveals that she has a boyfriend/fiancé/ husband, whatever. No big deal. Just say, he’s a lucky guy, you seem like a wonderful woman. I enjoyed meeting you, and leave and move on. Believe me, that compliment will make any woman’s day.
Approach Women For Dating Success
In conclusion for you single men: do approach women!
Approaching is a step by step process and starts with a simple hello and initiating a conversation, after that, if you like each other, simply take the next step and ask her out!
You have nothing to lose and your potential amazing future partner to gain! You can do this!
Need some help meeting women?
If you’re looking for a quality life partner, working with an experienced dating expert and matchmaker can help you achieve your goal faster and without the stress. And if you are a man who is already meeting lots of women and who goes on lots of dates but has not met the right lady yet, then there are other challenges.
Talk to me, I can either help you with some coaching to break that cycle, or we can filter and screen your dates for you so that there ispoty65p0a more targeted and effective approach in your dating.
