Why still single? If you are serious about wanting to find a life partner, but you have not been successful so far, then finding out why you’re still single is a great place to start.
You likely feel quite accomplished in your life: you’ve worked hard to build a successful career, maintain a healthy lifestyle, and have great relationships with family and friends.
But while you feel otherwise fulfilled, you can’t quite put your finger on why you haven’t been able to find ‘the one’ yet. Sound familiar?
Exercise to Find Out Why You Are Still Single
Here’s a quick and easy exercise to get a clear picture of why you might still be single so you can overcome the obstacles standing in your way:
If your goal is finding the right life partner, how important is reaching this goal for you on a scale of 1-10?
How committed are you to reaching your goal of finding your partner?
If you answered anything below a 9 on the first question, then this is probably the reason why you’re still single.
Just like any important life goal, if it isn’t important enough to you it just won’t happen.
Imagine if you wanted to learn Spanish, but it wasn’t really a huge priority for you. You would likely learn some vocabulary and maybe even enough to hold a basic conversation, but you wouldn’t become fluent. After some time, you’d likely forget most, if not all, of what you learned.
Big goals require big commitments. If you wanted to lose 15 kilos but weren’t willing to fully commit to it you might start a running routine or work some more greens into your diet, but you likely wouldn’t lose more than 5 kilos before gaining back the weight you lost.
The same applies to finding a relationship. If you treat finding a partner like a “nice to have” or the cherry on top of your already happy life, then you’re likely not motivated enough to do the work needed to get the results that you want and succeed.
Dating is like any other goal. It requires consistent effort.
Our priorities are what we dedicate our time, energy, and resources to.
Now, look at number 2
“How committed are you to reaching your goal of finding your partner?”
Anything besides ‘very’ or ‘extremely’ means you haven’t truly been ready to find a partner. Your commitment to reaching your goal reflects your true level of interest in accomplishing it.
Once you’re clear that this is a highly important goal and you fully commit to achieving it, only then will you be truly ready to get started.
3 Obstacles That Keep Women Single
If you’re clear that this is a highly important goal AND you’re truly committed, here are the three main obstacles that keep most women from taking real, meaningful action to find a fulfilling partnership so you can work past them faster.
Obstacle #1: Not taking (the right kind of) action.
No matter how much you hope, wish, pray or manifest finding a partner, without taking action it won’t happen.
There’s an old Italian joke about a man who goes to church every day. He prays to a statue of a saint, “Please God, please God, let me win the lottery.”
He returns to the church everyday for months until one day the exasperated saint comes to life and says, “My child, please… you have to buy a ticket!”
If you want to achieve your goal, you need to take action.
If you want to find a partner, you need to be dating. I know this may sound easier said than done to do on your own, but all of my clients date AND they all date men that they have found themselves (even during the pandemic). I teach women how to do this step-by-step in my Find Your Success Match coaching program. Want to learn more? Click here to book a free consultation.
Obstacle #2: You! (Standing in your own way.)
I help my clients address anything that could potentially stand in the way of their success. Why are they still single? Believe it or not, most of the time, they are standing in their own way! This may sound harsh, but this is actually beautiful and empowering because we are the ones who hold the key to our success.
Our mind is incredibly powerful and always believes what we tell it. Some limiting beliefs can be personal like:
“I’m not strong/thin/tall/funny/pretty enough.”
“I’m too old/independent/have too much baggage, etc.”
“I only attract commitment-phobes/unavailable men.”
“There aren’t available men where I live.”
Some limiting beliefs can be gender-based like:
“Men are intimidated by successful women.”
“Men only want sex.”
“Men don’t want to commit.”
“There aren’t any quality men.”
When we believe something, our mind searches for evidence that what we believe is true.
Often, people say seeing is believing, but the reality is the opposite–believing is seeing.
When we focus on negative things, that is what grows in our life. If we choose to focus on positive things like gratitude, beauty, appreciation, and love then those are the things that will flourish in our life.
Focus your attention on positive things and dreams
Being aware of our beliefs and what we focus on is the first step to make a conscious effort to change our way of thinking.
What we believe truly shapes how we experience our realities.
As Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t. You’re right.” When you consciously want to find a partner, but you subconsciously believe you cannot find a partner you will experience struggle, disappointment, and frustration. The best way to remedy this is to address your subconscious struggles and align them to your conscious desires.
Obstacle #3: Not getting support, or not getting the right support.
Why still single? Love, like anything else in life that you want to succeed at, requires time, attention, effort, commitment, and investment. Without the proper support, you can easily stay stuck.
I’ve heard time and time again from clients who have gotten well-intentioned guidance from their girlfriends who have told them things such as:
“You should never use the word ‘relationship’ on dates, or you’ll scare him off.”
“Finding a relationship will happen when you least expect it.”
“If a man isn’t ‘man enough’ to approach a woman then you shouldn’t want him anyway.”
“You can see in two seconds whether someone might be interesting or not.”
“If a man doesn’t push to sleep with you after a third date, he’s just not attracted to you.”
Be careful when asking for advice from others! Be sure that the person you are getting advice from has a positive perspective on dating, relationships, and men. Also make sure that they are supportive and have your best interests at heart and truly want to see you succeed.
It’s very easy to go down a rabbit hole of dating books, videos, and courses. You can read all the dating books and watch hundreds of hours of videos but remain single.
The transformation is not in the information but in the correct implementation of that information.
Imagine you wanted to learn to ski. You can read all the books in the world, even watch instructional videos on a loop but until you get out on the slopes and make your way down a mountain you really haven’t started skiing at all.
Friends are not always the best source of dating advice
So, what should you do?
Working with a dating or matchmaking agency is NOT the answer.
I know this because this is what I used to do. Contracts promising “x number of dates in x number of months” will deliver only that if all goes well.
What you need is comprehensive support to get out of your own way, become empowered and finally begin a happy and fulfilling relationship. Just as you invest in other areas of your life (health, education, your career), if having a life partner is a central goal to your life’s happiness you should invest in the right support and guidance for you.
Are You 100% Committed to Finding Love?
Why still single? Many singles stay stuck or get stuck when taking action but with true support and guidance it’s possible to find what you are truly looking for. Finding a partner has more to do with you, than with the singles you will be meeting!
Finding happy long lasting fulfilling love requires effort, energy, time, and investment BUT the payoff is huge.
If you are 100% serious about wanting to succeed in finding the right partner AND you are 100% committed to doing the work necessary to get the results you want and succeed in finding a partner, I am committed to helping you find it.
Book a free consultation with me today. On this call, we’ll dive into:
The challenges you’re facing currently when it comes to dating and relationships
What your goal is
How I can help you bridge the gap and achieve it faster
Please note: My program follows a proven, science-backed process, but it’s not for everyone. If I see there’s a natural fit, I’ll share what my program looks like. And if you’re not, I’ll share that too.
The right partner is out there for you. I’d be honored to help you find him.
If you’re truly ready to prioritize your happiness, book a complimentary consultation now.
